I never thought that in a million years that I would be told by my doctor, “Well, that sounds like Adult A.D.D.” That couldn’t possibly be me! That’s my brother. He has ADHD since he was a little kid. But not me. Let me back up a minute and tell you what’s going on.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve been referring to myself as a hot mess. I have become very scatterbrained and it’s getting worse. It’s gotten to the point that a good friend of mine has lovingly referred to me as a squirrel! LOL, and she’s right! So what am I doing that’s so squirrel-like?
I am a list maker and I crave organization. Checking things off a list makes me very happy. So I have lists and notebooks to keep track of everything that I have going on. For example, I have a planner that has my general to-do list for the day. My master plan for the day so to speak. Then I have a notebook for children’s ministry with a to-do list in it and one for any event that I’m working on. I have notebooks and checklists for everything! Just look at my Etsy shop to see how much I love planning.
I’ve realized that I’m no longer accomplishing much each day. I noticed I was doing a bit of this and that but not really finishing anything. For example, I might get a load of laundry done and not much else. I told my doctor that I was working all day on my blog, housework, etc., but at the end of the day and I had no idea what I did all day long!
Making decisions has become awful. and I can’t focus on anything. I can’t decide anything and don’t even ask me what I want for supper. I have no idea! I’m a mess. I ping pong all day long between tasks, naps, indecision, frustration, brain fog, exhaustion, and what did I do all day?
I have never been like this before, or have I? In school, I had good grades, and focus, and I’ve always pretty much been like that. I’m not hyper or impulsive so I can’t possibly have adult A.D.D. But something has happened since having Covid. If it’s been there all along, it was just quietly in the background, and it’s shouting now.
I only know that since coming out of the fog of having had Covid I now deal with some things that I never had before or were just in the background of my life. For example, I now have Mast Cell Activation. I probably had it my whole life but it was never a major issue until having had Covid. This is just one more thing that I notice now.
I had gone to my doctor about a sprained ankle, so as we were chit-chatting, I told her I had become a squirrel. When she finished laughing, she asked what I meant. Thankfully, she told me I wasn’t crazy. And I wasn’t the only one that’s told her this after having Covid. Then she announced, “Sounds like A.D.D.”. I laughed. But as she explained things to me, it started to make sense. She also said they don’t know if this is due to Covid, how our lives have changed, or what. Girls are also more likely to go undiagnosed as kids because we don’t always have those distinctive A.D.D. traits like boys. So, whatever the reason, more adults are being diagnosed with it.
As I’ve researched A.D.D. I’ve also found out that it can go hand in hand with Ehlers-Danlos for some reason. So I’m definitely not crazy! This is just another part of my journey. As unexpected as this is, if it helps then great. There’s so much more to A.D.D. than being hyperactive and looking back so many of the symptoms fit me. I just never knew it.
But after being on medicine for a few weeks, I can tell a difference. I’m more focused and I can accomplish tasks again. Even if I’m ping-ponging between different things, I’m finishing things. I still struggle some days and that’s ok. I’m learning to give myself some grace. I’m really grateful that I talked to my doctor about this and even more grateful that she didn’t blow me off. Don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor. If you have adult A.D.D. how do you manage it? I’d love to hear from you!
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